The Icarus Effect Read online

  Lucas was the hardest worker Harvey had ever known. He had started working part-time at the dairy when he was fourteen, always diligently saving his money. He’d moved out of his parents’ house at sixteen, working all the hours he could get just to afford his own place and give them one less mouth to feed. As soon as he’d graduated high school, the owner of the dairy had brought him on full time, rewarding his hard work with a full time position as a foreman. Now he worked sixteen hours a day and still lived in this tiny house, but he was happier than Harvey could ever imagine being, under the same circumstances.

  “Do you know anybody who might be hiring?”

  Lucas thought about it for a minute. “Let me ask my uncle in the morning.”

  “The one that works for the Forest Service?”

  Lucas nodded. “Sometimes they have openings for part-time jobs in the summer. Maybe he’ll have an idea.”

  Twin Falls Ranger District

  Twin Falls, Idaho

  9:30 A.M.

  Cesar Gòdia looked across his desk at Harvey, shaking his head. “Most of our seasonal jobs get filled months in advance, Harvey.” He shuffled through some papers. “What experience do you have?”

  Harvey felt his cheeks go red. Nothing for it now, but the truth. “Not much, to be honest, Mr. Gòdia. I worked at a gas station for one summer in high school.”

  “That’s all? You graduated last year, no?”

  “Yes, sir. I’ve been living with my parents.” He took a breath. “I guess I haven’t really figured out what I want to do yet.”

  Gòdia leaned back in his chair, studying Harvey and chewing the inside of his cheek. “So, no real work experience to speak of.”

  “No sir.” Harvey forced himself to hold eye contact with the man.

  “Yet, my nephew seems to think you’re worth the chance.” He leaned forward, putting his elbows on the desk and lacing his fingers. He spoke in a conspiratorial whisper. “Don’t tell anybody, but I still don’t know what I want to do with my life.” He winked and leaned back in his chair, grinning. “Not knowing where you want to be twenty years from now is no crime, Harvey. What I want to know is, are you afraid of getting dirty? A little hard work? Maybe something a bit dangerous?”

  Harvey straightened in his chair. “No, sir, I’m willing to try anything. And I’m a hard worker.”

  Gòdia’s grin widened. “You’ll have to be. Look. Last winter was very bad. Very low snowpack in the mountains. Add to that the fact that last summer was unusually wet, and this year, you have a lot of low vegetation growth in the mountains, with not much moisture leftover for this summer.”

  “Sorry, but you lost me.”

  “It’s gonna be a bad fire season this year, Harvey. The Forest Service didn’t plan very well for it, even though all the signs were there. We based all our hiring numbers for this year’s fire crews on last year’s fires, which means we’re dangerously shorthanded.”

  “I, um, I don’t know anything about being a fireman,” Harvey said.

  Gòdia laughed. “I’m not talking about being a fireman! At least, not in the sense of the firemen you see riding around on shiny red trucks fighting structure fires in town. I’m talking about being on a wildfire crew. It’s completely different. All you need to do is go through a week long fire school, and you’re qualified. It’s mostly hiking around in the woods, digging fire lines, and putting out spot fires, but it comes with hazardous duty pay.”

  He rummaged in a drawer, then slid a form across the desk. “If you’re interested, the district office gave us discretion to hire a certain number of extra people to shore up the existing crews. I have one slot left for the last fire school of the season. It’s only seasonal work, but -”

  Harvey grabbed the form. “I’ll take it.”

  Gòdia smiled and handed him a pen. “I thought you might. Welcome to the Forest Service.”

  “And you go when?” Lucas asked from the bathroom, his voice raised over the sound of running water.

  “Day after tomorrow,” Harvey said, talking around the slice of pizza in his mouth. The door opened and Lucas came out, wiping his hands on a towel as Harvey talked. “There’s some kind of firefighting plane on its way from Colorado to Boise, and it’s supposed to stop here and pick me and another guy up, take us to the fire school in Boise. Pretty cool, huh?”

  “Maybe I should have taken that job,” Lucas said, throwing the wet towel at Harvey. “I’ve never even been on a plane before.”

  Harvey caught the towel and grinned. “I owe you, man. I wouldn’t have even known to apply if you hadn’t called your uncle for me. He seems like a really good guy.”

  “He’s a really crappy judge of character,” Lucas said, “but other than that, he’s great.”

  Harvey laughed. It felt like the first time he’d done that in forever. “Look, your uncle said I might not get my first paycheck for like a month or something, so -”

  “Don’t worry about it,” Lucas cut him off. “I know you’re good for it. Besides, I know where you live.” He nodded at the battered couch.

  “Don’t sweat it,” Harvey said, grabbing another piece of pizza. “I’ll pay you back as soon as I get a check. I won’t forget you helping me out, Lucas.”

  Lucas sat down and poked at a slice of pizza. “You tell your mom?”

  Harvey put his pizza down. “No.”

  “Why not, hermano?”

  “Don’t get all preachy with me Lucas, I can’t -”

  “I’m not preaching,” Lucas interrupted. “You’re my best friend. Your parents were always really good to me when we were kids - made me feel like one of the family.”

  “You are one of the family, far as I’m concerned.”

  “That’s why it hurts me to see how you’re treating your mama, man.”

  Harvey leaned back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest.

  “You don’t think she wants to know where you are? Don’t think she’d be proud that you got a job?”

  “She threw me out, Lucas.”

  “Yeah. ‘Cuz you were acting like an ass.”

  “What did I do?”

  “Come on, Harvey, don’t treat me like I’m stupid. You walked out of the hospital and left your mom there with Zach. Its not your fault that your dad passed right after you left, but it is your fault that you left. Your mom needed you, and you bailed.”

  Harvey’s appetite was gone. He shoved the pizza away. “I didn’t know what else to do,” he protested. “If I’d been watching Zach closer, he’d never have crossed paths with that bear, and none of this would have happened.”

  “That’s stupid, hermano. You don’t know that.”

  “I was there, Lucas. I know.”

  “So you think it’s your fault your dad died because of your timing? Why can’t you follow the same reasoning and at least see that your little brother is alive because of it? Give yourself a little credit, at least. You didn’t kill your dad, Harvey, but you kept him alive long enough to get him to the hospital, and you did save Zach. What more could you have done?”

  Harvey just shook his head.

  “Look,” Lucas said. “Your mom threw you out because you bailed on them at the hospital, not because you failed your dad and Zach somehow. She was hurt that you weren’t there when she needed you to be, that’s all. There’s no way she blames you. You need to let her know what you’re doing, at least.”

  “I can’t,” Harvey said. “Not yet.”

  “Harvey -”

  “Lucas, don’t push me, all right?” Harvey’s eyes were full of pain. “Tell you what. After I get done with fire school, I’ll call her, okay?”

  Lucas scratched his head in frustration. “Okay. But I still think it’d be better not to wait. You never know what life’s gonna bring, you know?”

  “Tell me about it,” Harvey said.

  Lucas stood up and took his plate to the sink. “I just thought of something.”

  “What?”

  “You said
you leave the day after tomorrow?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Isn’t that the day of your dad’s memorial?”

  Harvey stared at the table. “Yeah.”

  “Dude -”

  “The plane isn’t supposed to be at the airport until three,” Harvey protested. “My aunt told me that the memorial’s at one. I should have enough time.”

  Lucas started rinsing his plate. “You weren’t planning on going, were you?”

  “I dunno,” Harvey said. “I’m still not sure.”

  “Look, man,” Lucas said, turning to face him. “You’re my best friend. You gotta know I’ll always have your back.”

  “I know, and I appreciate -”

  “Let me finish!” Lucas barked.

  Harvey closed his mouth and stared. In all the years he’d known Lucas, he’d never heard him raise his voice in anger.

  “Like I said,” Lucas continued, “I’ll always have your back. But that also means I’m always gonna call you out if I think you’re making a huge mistake, and this is one of those times. Your mom has always been great to me, and as your friend, I gotta tell you, you’re being an idiot. I can’t support you if you’re disrespecting her that way. You need a place to stay until you catch your plane, fine. You stay here. But if you don’t go to the memorial and talk to your mom, you’re gonna need someplace new to stay after fire season is over.”

  “You’re gonna kick me out, too?”

  “You’re doing it to yourself, hermano. I’m always gonna be your friend. But if you’re gonna let your selfishness hurt your mom, I gotta back away from that.”

  Harvey stood up. “I’ll get my stuff together.”

  “You don’t get it, do you?” Lucas said in disbelief. “I’m saying you gotta stop acting like a jerk, so now you’re gonna double down and be a bigger one? You’re not leaving, Harvey. This is your home for the next two nights, so relax, get your head straight. But after that, you have to decide if you want to be welcome here again. Just talk to your mom before you fly out, and we’re good, okay?”

  Harvey jammed his hands in his pockets. “All right. I’ll think about it.”

  “That’s all I’m asking,” Lucas said.

  Sunset Memorial Park

  Twin Falls, Idaho

  Two Days Later

  12:55 P.M.

  Lucas looked around at the gathered crowd. From his seat in the second row, he had to stand to see everyone, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t will Harvey to show up.

  “Sit down, Lucas,” Diana Bennett said from the seat in front of his. “He’s not coming.”

  “I’m sorry Mrs. Bennett,” Lucas said, still scanning the cemetery. “I gotta believe he’ll do the right thing.”

  “How long have you known Harvey?” she asked, turning in her chair to look at him with a pained smile. “He’s the most stubborn person I know. If he thinks I blame him for what happened, he’ll hang on to that like a starving dog on a bone.” She turned back to face the casket, surrounded by flowers. “Now sit down, young man. It’s about to start.”

  Lucas took one last look around, then sank into his plastic chair with a sigh. He’d really hoped that Harvey would do the right thing. When he saw him that morning before leaving the house for a half shift at the dairy, Lucas had thought Harvey was coming around.

  “See you later?” Lucas had said on his way out the front door.

  “Sure thing,” Harvey had answered over the rim of a steaming cup of coffee.

  Lucas had really hoped that had meant Harvey would see him today, at the memorial. But now as the clock wound down to the beginning of the service, he was disappointed to realize he’d probably meant they’d see each other much later, like at some random meeting decades in the future, where neither of them would know quite what to say or how to act, and they’d leave things with an uneasy handshake and some empty platitude or another.

  “Good to see you.”

  “You, too.”

  “Keep in touch.”

  “You bet.”

  What a load of crap, Lucas thought. Harvey, if I ever do see you again, I’m gonna punch you in the head for what you’re doing to your mom.

  Lucas is gonna punch me in the head the next time he sees me, Harvey thought. He was standing in the shade of a huge oak tree, concealed from view a hundred yards away from where they were getting ready to bury his dad. Watching at a distance, detached from the gathering and the cold finality of it, he could almost convince himself of the lie that it wasn’t really happening. He could see his mom, and Zach, and Lucas seated behind them, all of them no doubt wondering what kind of person would do what he was doing at that moment.

  He wondered himself.

  But even so, Harvey still couldn’t bring himself to walk the hundred yards to stand at his mom’s side. He couldn’t bear the idea of all those eyes on him at once, every one of them accusing him silently, every one of them second-guessing his actions or inactions that caused all of this. He was still convinced that they were all better off without him there.

  He watched as the pastor opened with a prayer. He couldn’t make out the words, but he imagined the man was saying how great Johnson Bennett had been, what an amazing father and husband he’d been, how he’d been taken away too soon. Harvey felt like a coward compared to his father. Lurking in the shadows, afraid to show his face. Ashamed, because his cowardice was the reason for his father’s death in the first place.

  Harvey felt his stomach knotting up. The guilt was almost overpowering. Almost enough to get him to walk out of the shadows and beg forgiveness from all the people gathered over there who he’d hurt by not getting to his father’s side in time, by not staying with his brother when he should have. He felt himself wanting to start walking, but his feet stayed where they were, as if they were rooted with the tree.

  He had to get away from there.

  As he turned to go, the low, steady drone of a bagpipe floated across the field toward him. Turning back, Harvey watched as his mom stepped forward with Zach, both of them placing a wreath of flowers on the closed casket while a lone piper played Going Home. Johnson Bennett had always loved bagpipe music, and the sound of the traditional funeral song had Harvey frozen where he was until the last note, tears streaming down his face, hands shaking at his sides.

  When the piper finally finished and the congregation bowed their heads for a final prayer, Harvey took one last look, then turned and walked away. It was too late now. Too late to make amends. Too late to ask forgiveness. There was only one thing left that he still had time to do.

  He had a plane to catch.

  4

  Princeps Fugae

  Magic Valley Regional Airport

  Twin Falls, Idaho

  2:50 P.M.

  Harvey stared out the window of the fixed base operator’s meagerly appointed passenger lounge. The airport seemed mostly dead - the second of two daily scheduled commercial flights had already come and gone hours before. The only aircraft he could see was a yellow crop duster, aggressively working a field half a mile south of the airport boundary. As he watched the little plane pitch up, roll over and dive back the way it had come, he noticed a grey smear of smoke sketching a line across the sky higher up and much farther off. At the leading edge of the line, a tiny speck resolved itself into a four-engined gray airplane, getting closer and lower by the second.

  “Don’t let it worry ya.” The sudden voice at his side startled Harvey. “They always smoke like that.”

  Harvey looked over. The voice belonged to a wiry young man, about Harvey’s height and age, but at least twenty pounds lighter. He had greasy shoulder-length hair and carried a battered nylon backpack over one shoulder. He flashed a lopsided grin at Harvey. “You know much about planes, Chief?”

  Harvey shook his head. “Just a little more than nothing,” he said. “Never flown, ’til today.”

  “Ooooo, a first-timer, huh?” Greasy Hair chided. “Well, don’t you worry about it none. You jus
t watch me and I’ll show you how it all works. I got all kinds of flyin’ time under my belt.”

  Harvey looked back outside. The big plane was passing well above the crop duster and banking hard to the left to line up for the runway. “You don’t say?”

  “Oh, I do say, Chief, I do say.” Greasy Hair smacked Harvey on the arm with the back of his hand, then stuck the hand out. “Name’s Chad. Chad Turner.”

  Harry took the offered hand and shook it. “Nice to meet you, Chad, Chad Turner.” He looked back out at the plane, just touching down. “You waiting on that plane, too?”

  Chad snickered. “Yeah, man. Always gotta wait on pilots, you know? Buncha prima donna glorified bus drivers, you ask me.”

  Harvey kept watching the plane. “Really?”

  “You know it,” Chad said. “I was gonna be a pilot. Got all my ground school done.”

  “So, being a ‘glorified bus driver’ doesn’t bother you?”

  “What? No, I wasn’t gonna fly anything like that,” he nodded at the now taxiing plane. “See, that there is a C-130, a cargo hauler. I was gonna fly fighters.”

  Harvey suddenly had a mental picture of Lucas, wading through knee deep cow manure at the dairy. “And me without my waders,” he muttered.

  “What’s that?” Chad asked.

  “Oh, nothing,” Harvey said. “You in the military?”

  “Me? No, man! I look like the kinda guy could put up with bein’ ordered around everywhere?”

  Especially not if they ordered you to get a haircut and close your mouth. “I guess not,” Harvey said out loud. “I just figured if you were gonna fly fighters, you’d probably have to actually be in the military first.”

  Chad stood there with his mouth slightly open, his brow furrowed in thought. He looked like he’d almost hit on a decent response when they were interrupted.

  “Hello boys! Good to see you’re both on time.”

  Harvey shot a knowing grin at Chad, then turned to shake Cesar Gòdia’s hand. “Hi, Mr. Gòdia.”